DH is sometimes a typical male and can’t read what’s going on with me or the situation we’re in. So I developed some code words to use. Some of these are even used in public – not just in the bedroom.
Tomato: Stop! It’s our safe word.
Filter: Think before you speak and make sure it doesn’t come out the wrong way. Don’t be condescending or sarcastic and start an argument.
Time-Out: I need you to drop everything and pay attention to me right now because it’s important!
Here I Am: I need your affection & closeness.
Parrot: Remember, you are setting an example for our son and he will do/say/act just like you will.
The Eagle Has Landed: Our son is close or near, so behave.
He may be the Dominant in our relationship, but sometimes he needs reminders. He can be oblivious to what’s going on and the moods of people around him. Just using these codes makes him aware.
And some of these codes have prevented arguments. Which prevents a spanking!
Recently we started using the traffic light, or I suppose I should say, Michael started using it. Basically, red means stop immediately, yellow means tread lightly and green is obviously a go. We do also have a safe word, but I’ve never had to use it and hope not to, its there just in case something goes awry.
I stumbled across your blog this morning. I wish I could ”follow” the blog or subscribe to an RSS feed. For now I’ll bookmark it. I like what you have to say, think we may be at similar points in our lives as we are fairly new to this lifestyle, started by my prompting, and our stages of life seem to be similar as well. Check out my blog, too at http://mydsmarriagejourney.blogspot.com/
Thanks for sharing! ~Subbie